You’re funny…

I’m funny.

 

At least that’s what people tell me. When I hear the words “You’re funny” I get a variety of different reactions occurring within me at once and I never really know which one is the most valid. Part of me thinks it’s great that I’m getting the response I sought out with my behaviour/words. Another part of me is grateful that I am surrounded by people who enjoy my humour (and in turn I genuinely enjoy theirs). However there’s also part of me that considers the “you’re funny” comment to be the constellation prize.  It’s the thing that is said when you can’t say “you’re beautiful” or “you inspire me” or “you’re important to me”. I find myself wondering, why do I feel like that? And more importantly why do I continue to try and make people in my life laugh when at times it’s probably not the reaction that I’m seeking. I think I’ve managed to put it down to two things… one being my constant desire to  have fun, and to find the lighter side of things and the second being the fear of rejection.

Let me explain a little.

You see it’s hard for someone to reject you as another human being when they’re laughing at something you’ve said or done. So whilst someone may not find me beautiful, inspiring or important in their lives, they at least find me funny… and in that admission alone they’ve at least accepted me as part of their lives.

Does this make me want to change who I am as a person? Does it make me want to try and make myself more appealing in other areas other than sense of humour? Well no it doesn’t. I’m happy being who I am. I’m happy knowing that the people I consider friends are able to laugh with me, I honestly believe that humour is one of the most important things in life, it helps give meaning and emotion to moments that without it would be otherwise boring, dull and lets face it… a waste of an opportunity. So whilst I might only ever be the entertaining MC instead of the bridesmaid, at least I’m having fun right?

To all my friends who find me funny know that I enjoy being that way because it’s one of the easiest ways for me to show that I like you and that I want to share who I am with you the only way I know best. To those of you who at times find me annoying, immature or just a little too much… I apologise. This is me and I can no better change it than you can turn day into night.

I was walking my little doggie this afternoon and thinking about funny people and the double edge sword their lives are and understanding how extremely funny comedians (and no I don’t think I’m a comedian or even that calibre of funny) often suffer from depression. To live wondering whether someone would ever accept you if you weren’t funny… I guess it’s no different than being very beautiful and wondering if someone would accept you if you were no longer beautiful…

Honestly though… no one looks more beautiful than when they’re laughing.

Peace & Laughter to all my readers 🙂

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